Archive | October 2012

Learning to Pause

1 Peter 5:8 NIV84

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

The past three weeks have been filled with pauses.  Pausing to think.  Pausing to pray.  The past three weeks have been fraught with emotion and filled with a multitude of opportunities for me to become unglued.  Really unglued.  Like, a big ol’ sloppy mess of confusion, worry, stress and tears.  I have been plopped in the middle of a really ugly, complicated, emotional situation that I didn’t ask to be a part of.  At the beginning of it all, I would have actually paid money not to have been a part of it.  Seriously.  Because the situation involves so many parts of my life, I can’t get away from it.  I can’t sleep, I can’t work like I need to work, I can’t parent like I need to parent.  It has been all-consuming to the point that if not for the promise of God’s strength, grace and faithfulness, I would have literally fallen to pieces.  Throughout the last three weeks, I have heard Him tell me to stop, to pause, to wait and be still.  To trust that this situation will improve and that it will not be harder than I can handle.  To believe that I am in this place for a good reason and that it will not last forever.  To have faith that in His time He will make everything clear and right.  I only have to pray.  And pause, when I really just want to scream at someone to tell the truth.  Over and over again.  Because that one truth can put all of the pieces together.  And so I pray, for patience, for self-control, for guidance, for clarity.  And for God’s will to be done.  Amen.