Archive | May 2012

What’s In a Name?

Juliet: “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet.”

Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

William David Griffin.  That is what I chose to call my second-born son.  God spoke to me while I was carrying him and told me to name him William after my late grandfather, Martin William Bates.  He also told me to name him after my husband’s father, David Morris Griffin.  Hence his name… William David Griffin.

This past Sunday, on Mother’s Day, we dedicated William to God at Mosaic Church Charlotte.  Before the dedication, Pastor Mike researched our baby’s name and learned that it meant Beloved Protector.  Yes, Beloved (David) Protector (William).  I realized as Mike spoke that, after suffering a heartbreaking miscarriage on Christmas Eve of 2008, God had chosen to bless me with a beloved protector, William David Griffin.  And for that, I am so very thankful.

Every night before bed I read a Bible story to my boys from a “My First Message Bible,” and tonight we read the story of David and Goliath.  Zachary, my 8-year-old, is very familiar with the story because we read it over and over when he was little, at his request.  But tonight the story was new for William, who is 2 1/2.  As we settled in to read, thunder rolled outside as a gentle rain began.  William creeped behind his bed and hid from the thunder, unsure of what he was hearing.  I told him everything was fine and he sprinted into my lap and gripped me in a hug, telling me he was scared of the thunder.  I reassured him again and began to read.

Well, you know how the story goes.  David steps up to fight Goliath with his sling and stones, and he slays the giant with a single pebble with God’s strength behind him.  William, who has a tendency to run circles around the bedroom instead of sitting quietly through my story, sat very still tonight and seemed to hear every word.  After the story we prayed as we always do, based on suggestions from the book.  The suggestion was to tell God about some of the things of which we are afraid.  Of course, William said, “Thunder.”  I suggested that William pray to God to stop the thunder so that he could go to bed in peace, and, of course, He came through.  There were no more rolls of thunder after we prayed our prayer.  God is Good!

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Is love enough?

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient,   love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,   it is not easily angered,   it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil   but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

My husband and I separated on Easter weekend.  We remain separated today.  As Mother’s Day approaches this weekend, I find myself reflecting on my marriage, my children, and my family as a whole.  Or as its separate pieces, really.  My marriage to my husband is one piece of the puzzle.  My role as the mother of my two biological children is another piece of the puzzle.  And my role as the step-mother of my husband’s son is another piece of the puzzle.  I have spent the last few months trying to determine if, in fact, the pieces of the puzzle actually fit together.

I know I love my husband, my children, and my step-son, but do we all fit together?  It’s hard to say at this point.  As my husband and I continue to talk through our marriage, our separation, and our hopeful reunion, we wonder… what is the glue?  Is it love?  Is it patience?  Is it hope?  Or is it some complicated concoction of all of these things?

I have made a new friend recently who is going through a very difficult separation from her husband.  Her separation actually makes my separation feel like a piece of cake.  But yet, I still can’t seem to find the magic formula to fix my marriage.  The positive thing that I have learned from getting to know her and her situation is that I DO love my husband and want to fix our marriage, whatever it takes.  The negative thing that I have learned from her situation is that sometimes, love just may not be enough.

There has to be more than love.  There has to be a desire to cultivate and grow that love.  To nurture that love.  A belief in that love.  The need to do whatever it takes to keep that love from dying.

I hope with all of my heart that my husband and I will find a way to fit the pieces of our lives back together.  One at a time.  For the love of each other and of our children.