Tug of War

A wise friend of mine recently told me to write about what God has put on my heart, so I’m taking her advice.  I haven’t blogged in a couple of months for various reasons, only one of which has been writer’s block.  And then life, kids, travel, work, etc. got in the way.  But, I am still here, and I continue to chug along with daily life, kids, work, etc…

And my separation from my husband.  Since Easter Sunday.  So, technically speaking, we have approximately three months of non-living-together under our belts.  Which means we only need 9 more months before the state of South Carolina will allow us to get divorced.  If we so choose.

Problem is… neither one of us is choosing anything.  To stay together. To divorce.  To stay together. To divorce.  It has become a tug of war of emotions.  Just when I think we are moving toward a reconciliation, we step backwards.  It feels like the flower thing, where you pick one petal off at a time.  He loves me, he loves me not.  He loves me… You know how it goes.

So where does the petal-picking end?  Together or apart?  For today, at least, I still have no idea.  I guess I have at least 9 more months to decide…

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